Before you roll your eyes at another “just stop scrolling” message, I want you to hear from someone who understands. My friend Kendra Burrows offers a wise, compassionate perspective that doesn’t pile on shame; it helps you uncover what your scrolling is really saying about your needs, your energy, and your heart. This post is both practical and freeing. I think it will meet you right where you are, and I’m excited to share her thoughts with you!

Hi, My Friend —

The voice in your head says: “Put down the phone.”

You know you should put it down. Stop scrolling and get back to work.

So when you don’t, guilt rises in your chest. Negative thoughts follow. Then anxiety. Then you beat yourself up for continuing to scroll.

You rationalize that you can’t help it. The dopamine hits are addictive. (That’s a little bit true.) That phone games and video shorts are designed to keep you playing. (Also true.)

But knowing this just makes you feel more guilty— because you’re being controlled now, not just by a game, but by an entire enterprise.

“I should be able to stop this and get back to work,” you say.

Perhaps.

But it’s definitely true that the “scroll → beat self up → put phone back down” cycle isn’t working.

If it were, you wouldn’t pick it up again a few minutes later.

Might I suggest a different approach?

Instead of beating yourself up, harness your curiosity.

When I got curious about why and when I pick up my phone, it changed everything.

Turns out, when I pick up mine it’s almost always when I’m struggling to make a decision:

• A word choice.
• Which direction to take in an essay.
• What task to work on next.
• What to do with my life.

Knowing why I pick up the phone doesn’t always change my behavior.

But it can shake me out of my scrolling stupor— if I treat it as a trigger instead of a tormentor.

Now when I reach for my phone, I use it as an opportunity to ask myself: What hard decision am I avoiding?

And, more crucially, what’s one thing I can do (right now) that would actually help me get closer to a decision?

• Sometimes my brain (or my body) needs a break.
• Sometimes I need to journal or make a list.
• Sometimes knocking out several mind mosquitoes from my to-do list will free me to make the decision I need to make.
• Sometimes I need a quick win to build up my confidence.

And sometimes . . . a few minutes of scrolling is the exact mindless activity I need to free up my brain so it can solve my dilemma in the background.

Here’s an experiment for you:

Each time you reach for your phone this week, jot down a word or two to remind you what you were doing when the impulse struck. Then, look for the patterns.

• Are you avoiding a particular type of activity?
• Are you tired?
• Are you stuck in a project while you wait for a response?

You’ll likely discover that your scrolling isn’t the problem, per se. It’s just a symptom of the problem.

And once you recognize the real problem, you can take positive steps to deal with it.

So instead of fighting with yourself about your phone usage, develop habits to confront your actual problem. And when you do that, your phone usage will diminish. (Pinky swear!)

Hugs & Blessings,
Kendra

P.S. Our phones aren’t the only things that distract us from our problems. To eliminate other distractions as well, check out my e-book & reflection journal 7 Ways You Lie to Yourself— Without Even Realizing It. (“I keep getting distracted” is Lie #6.)

With her Bible in one hand & her advanced psych degree in the other, Kendra Burrows loves to help smart, successful over-thinkers overcome negative thoughts using Scripture and the science of how God made you. Stop by www.kendraburrows.com to learn more.

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