This article is part of an 8-week series of excerpts taken from my Bible study, Worthy of Love: A Journey of Hope and Healing After Abortion.
For many years after my abortion, I did not feel grief, shame or regret. The reality is that I stuffed my feelings. In time, I found myself living in a perpetual state of emotional numbness.
They say “time heals all wounds,” but if our wounds are never healed, time only buries them deeper. When I came face-to-face with the truth, I realized that my pregnancy was a child and that I let her die … and she died without a name.
My child became one of the countless, faceless, nameless whose numbers only God could grasp. But one day, God helped me see the truth…No accusations. No condemnation. Just the overwhelming nearness of a tender, loving God. Standing at the crossroads where my grief merged with God’s forgiveness, I understood for the first time that God did not want me to condemn myself forever for what I had done. The abortion was an undeniable tragedy. It left one dead and another wounded. Nothing I do can ever change that. Yet, in God’s infinite mercy, He showed me there is something, one thing, I can still do. I can give my child a name.
If you had asked me five or ten years after the abortion what effect it had on me, I would have said, “I’m fine. I don’t really think much about it.” And I would have been telling the truth. But it wouldn’t have been the whole truth. I had hidden the pain so deep, only God would be able to help me see it-and to realize the damage it was causing in my heart and soul. When we sin, we may feel paralyzed by guilt or refuse to feel anything at all; however, both positions keep us separated from the God who loves us. He knows our hurts and wants to meet us at The Crossroads—a place where God’s forgiveness intersects our grief over sin—the place where healing begins.
“He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.” 1 Peter 2:24
Visit the Worthy of Love page to download a free sample, find an online group, watch the promo video, or find resources (including Leader’s Guide) to start a group. We all know someone who needs hope!